For me 2008 has been a year of transition: I saw my first child go off to college; I packed up my house and moved back to California; I started looking for a full-time job for the first time in three years just as the economy started to fall apart and unemployment began to rise. My timing could not have been worse.
But as I look back over the year and count my blessings, I see that I have more of them than I may have realized. I have food, shelter, a family I love, friends to care for, and the health to enjoy all of these. But I am also “blessed” in the sense of having experienced moments that brought happiness, pleasure, or simple contentment.
Of course, the difficulty of daily living is holding on to those moments of joy or even contentment. I return from an hour's walk, feeling uplifted, only to find that the kids are quarreling, the sink is full of dirty dishes, and there are too many bills to pay. I calculate how far we can stretch our savings, what kinds of consulting I can do, how much we can invest in our new business. I start to feel burdened, as if my blessings are outweighed by too many cares.
Those are the times when I ought to find my poodle, Diana, pick up her leash, and take pleasure in her excitement at the prospect of yet another walk.
But often I'm foolish or stubborn enough to persist at doing the things that make me feel weighed down by care or anxiety. After all, the kids can be sent to their rooms, the dishes can wait (or I can dragoon someone else into doing them), and the bills, well, if they're not due tomorrow, they can wait too.
Every day I try to find one moment where I simply enjoy being alive. Like my father, I'm an early riser, and I love being alone in the quiet of the house before any others are awake. In the evening, if I'm feeling worn out, fifteen minutes with a good book will usually have me fast asleep.
And If I'm out walking, all I need to do is stop and feel the sun on my face to know that I am indeed blessed.
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